As April fades once more into the distance, so too does it's title as designated ‘Child Abuse Prevention’ month.

It sounds so neat, so tidy, so efficient to be able to designate a month to a behavior that destroys our children. While the month will fade, the abuse will continue. Will our attention fade also?

The sexual abuse of children touches us all. It is deeply ingrained in our society – across all cultures and social strata.

How pervasive is it? Visit an elementary school classroom one day and look out at those expectant faces. Three or four of those children are being sexually abused. They go home every day to be abused by an adult they know – a father, an uncle, a neighbor, mom’s boyfriend, the babysitter, the guy who picks them up from school, a family friend, the piano teacher, the therapist, a spiritual leader.

Sex of this nature hurts the child physically; destroys them mentally, robs them of their innocence - permanently. For many their ability to manage relationships for life is ruined. How can they ever trust another adult?

Sex with children is exactly the same as sex with an adult. Except that little children are not physically nor mentally designed for sex; be they little boys or girls.

Sexual intercourse between a grown man and a five-year-old is near impossible to comprehend. How then can we deal with the reality of intercourse between an adult and a baby, as was documented in the recent breakup of an international child porn ring? It’s a reality we all need to be aware of. If this makes you feel uncomfortable; it should. It should make you want to be physically sick; it should make you want to act.

Family members, adolescents, adults from all social strata are raping and molesting theirs and our children. They are having vaginal, anal or oral intercourse with children from weeks old to puberty. This is not the behavior of a person; it is the behavior of a monster.

We need to envision the physical act to react with the necessary revulsion to truly understand what child sexual abuse is. The behavior is wrapped neatly in word packages that shield us from that reality. ‘Child abuse, molestation, grooming’ while edgy words, hide the true nature of the beast from us and leave us in a state of social denial; behind a safe wall of words.

Psychologists and theorists discuss the reasoning behind the urge to abuse children. Were the perpetrators abused themselves; can we understand them; can we help them be normal? “Who cares?; “no” and “no” are the answers to these inane questions. These are abject monsters, instigators of a deliberate, cold and cruel behavior. They deserve no understanding except as case studies in prison.

We don’t need to understand the perpetrators, they are criminals without equal. Theirs is not a just a sexually based behavior; theirs is one of control, planning, fantasy, and cruelty.

Treatment? There isn’t any, only life in jail – convicted pedophiles when interviewed confirm this themselves. There are obsessed with abusing children. Jail in this case, is not an attempt at remediation mind you, this is deliberate punishment. Child rapists normally have to be separated in prison as the other prisoners actively seek them out and kill them.

According to FBI reports child rapists – pedophiles - have a few traits in common. They lack a conscience. They can however make it appear as if they are the nicest guys in the world to gain access to our children. Their behavior is compulsive, predictable and repetitive. Some will rape thousands of children in their lifetimes; thousands. Yet they survive with their superb social skills.

Society and our children are dealing with sociopaths, psychopaths - people with anti-social disorder who make up 4% of our population. To put the 4% in perspective that’s 100 times more people in society than suffer from colon cancer. Some are superbly intelligent, capable of blending in with society for a lifetime while achieving whatever their personal perversion goals are. Some are arch-predators – far more clever that you or me. To them the raping of children is about sex, control; it’s a game. One four girls is abused as a child; one in sex boys. That’s between 15 and 25% of our population.

How do we counter this? There are three simple methods available.

First, always be with your children. No other adult or adolescent has any business being alone with them. Nobody; not once; never.

Second, educate yourself, your children and your family about all aspects of child abuse and how children are abused. You don’t need to understand the predators if you’re actively protecting your children.

Third, talk about this subject with all of your family and your friends.

It is only by dragging this beast out of the closet and into the sunlight that we will be able to save some of our children from it. If you suspect abuse of your own or another child report it immediately.

Listen to your instinct; teach your child to listen to theirs. If your child tells you something, believe them. Remember while predators will do what they can to access children, they do not like attention.

Unfortunately, just as all children can’t be protected from poverty, they cannot all be protected from abuse. We can only do what we can do.

A good start can be found at any of the websites dedicated to child abuse prevention such as Child AbuseWatch.NET (www.abusewatch.net).

This site is a comprehensive resource for the community to learn about child abuse. It contains information, emergency contacts, reports, reading material, victim services information, definitions, Internet warnings – you’re going to learn a lot by spending an hour browsing this site. Some of the data is available in French and Spanish. The site was prepared by child abuse experts including medical professionals.

As you begin your day, think for a moment about those children who are also starting theirs, hurt, injured and harmed from someone who gets immense sexual pleasure from them.

Those children face this burden alone; they go home to it, they wake up to it. They’re aged from weeks to 13 years old and all in between. They’re your neighbors. Maybe even your kids.

Start learning and start acting today. You are the only line of defense your child has.


About the writer:
Evin Daly is the  CEO and founder of One Child International Inc./Child AbuseWatch, a U.S.-based world child advocacy organization. edaly@abusewatch.net.

Sources:
www.abusewatch.net

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